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Eagle KazooJoin the Campaign to Make the Kazoo the national instrument!

Download this letter by Right-Clicking and selecting "Save Target As", thus saving the file to your computer. Then fill in the blanks and send to your elected officials.

To find your Senator or Representative, the President or First Lady -- ask a librarian or go online to:

http://www.house.gov/
http://www.senate.gov/
http://www.whitehouse.gov/

One small note for kazooists,
one joyous noise for humankind.

Click here to hear our campaign theme.

Keep America Humming!

Seven score and fifteen years or so ago (in the 1840s) our forefathers invented in America a new instrument, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that anyone who can talk, sing, or hum can kazoo. Vote “Yay!” for the red and blue kazoo that can be played by all, justly taking liberties, and without consequences for anyone. Here is the perfect opportunity for red and blue states to act in concert to agree on the one issue that matters to none.
Don’t call us. Contact your Senator or Congressperson

Red and Blue Kazoo Campaign Talking Points

Attributes for nationalization of the kazoo:

  1. It’s an American invention.
  2. Kazoos are colorful, without being color dependent.
  3. Affordable for all and a great leveler, giving everyone an equal chance to maximize the minimal.
  4. Kazoo is the instrument of the common people. After all, it’s nothing if not common.
  5. No kazooist is left behind, unless they make a wrong turn and lose the band.
  6. This most democratic of instruments allows equal opportunity kazooing for everyone, regardless of musical ability, political allegiance, ethnic choice, gender, species, or other special interests.  The uni-tone or arbitrary pitch kazooist is every bit as welcome in the kazoo ensemble as the musical maestro, making up in enthusiasm what he/she may lack in musicianship.
  7. Membership requirements for spontaneous groups are non-exclusionary, generally dependant on the number of armed kazooists rounded up. 
  8. One nation of kazooists, taking liberties, has few consequences for all!

World Unification Campaign

First America, then the world! Broaden your range and band together internationally. Kazooing knows no boundaries and voices can be raised worldwide in no languages whatsoever. The Dutch, the English, and the Canadians are already kazooing their part—the Finns, the Chinese, the Japanese, and the Russians are all making themselves heard. Kazoodaphiles unite!

The world must be made safe from Kazooists.

It is time for the American sitting Congress to stand behind us and support the issue to make the kazoo the national instrument to keep America humming!

To raise your voice in favor of the kazoo, don’t call us -- Contact your Senator or Congressperson. Snailmail or fax is the best way to reach them. Body of the text should be a request to “Please sponsor or support a bill to make the kazoo (an American invention) the national instrument to keep America humming!”

To assist the Kazoo Campaign, complete and send this letter to express your view to elected officials. If you don ’t know the address of the elected official you would like to send this letter to, look on the internet or ask your librarian.

Kazoo Congressmen

To raise your voice in favor of the kazoo, don’t call us -- Contact your Senator or Congressperson. Snailmail or fax is the best way to reach them. Body of the text should be a request to “Please sponsor or support a bill to make the kazoo (an American invention) the national instrument to keep America humming!

SAMPLE LETTER

E Pluribus Kazoo

To: The Honorable ________________________

Address: _______________________________

              ________________________________

Date: ___________________________________    

Re: KAZOO AS NATIONAL INSTRUMENT

Dear Senator or Congressperson:

Please join Barbara Stewart and Kazoophony in the Campaign to Make the Kazoo the National Instrument to Keep America Humming!

We already have a national song, a national bird, and a national debt. We may not need those either, but why not make the kazoo the national instrument? This is the one non-partisan issue on which both red and blue states can agree, since it truly matters to no one. The kazoo is clearly the ultimate democratic instrument. While only a small elite can play the sousaphone, any constituent of yours who can talk, sing, or hum can kazoo.

This uniquely American instrument was invented in Macon, GA in the 1840’s by an American black named Alabama Vest and made to his specifications by a German-American clockmaker named Thaddeus Von Clegg, according to jazz legend. It is a real instrument not a toy, and there is still one major manufacturer in the United States (Kazoobie Company) which has at least 3 or more employees.

Widely associated with the 4th of July, New Year’s, and other American celebrations, never has the Star Spangled Banner sounded so daunting as when performed on kazoos. Nothing else quite captures the individual character and “do it yourself” spirit like the kazoo. Even though kazooists have been victimized by high oil prices that raised the cost of plastic kazoos by 70%, the bands play on.

We ask you to step forward and stand up in the sitting Congress to raise your voice in support of the kazoo as national instrument.

Thank you for your attention to this important matter. I would appreciate a prompt response from you.

Sincerely,

(Print Your Name) ________________________________________

(Signature) ______________________________________________

Address: ________________________________________________

               ________________________________________________

 

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